Nikki Boyer, Creator, Dying For Sex | Exploring Life, Death, & Bold Choices in the Face of Cancer

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Thank you very much, Howard. We are back here at the Coveted Corner booth at Skip Page's Little Bar for another edition of Big Conversations Little Bar. My name is Patrick Evans.

I'm your host, along with my co-host, dear friend, and my spiritual mentor, Randy Flores.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Am I?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Absolutely.

[Randy Florence, Host]

What have you learned?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Very little, but I count on you. I count on you.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You can count on me. All right.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Good. One, two, three, four. Oh, that's right.

We're on video now. I forgot about that. That's a new thing.

How are you, Randy?

[Randy Florence, Host]

I'm doing great. I'm glad to be back in town. Sorry I hesitated there.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

It's okay. I miss the ocean. It's weird that you're wearing the same thing you were wearing in the last podcast we did together.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I only have two shirts. Glad you wore one of them. Since I retired, I got rid of everything.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, this is our, what, 108th, seventh? Sixth? Seventh?

Seventh episode.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Wow.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Wow.

And I have to say, kudos to you. You scored a big league guest for us.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I am so excited about this one.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

This is someone whose podcast you've been listening to.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yes. Yeah. And TV show.

Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Dying for Sex.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Dying for Sex. We should talk about that. And what a coincidence that Nikki Boyer would be here.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I was just strolling along.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Nikki's involved, dude. No, thank you so much for being here. This is really a thrill to have you. I've been, literally, for the last two weeks, as I've mentioned, your voice has just been in my head.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

You're so sweet. I'm so sorry about that.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Well, it's still early.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

My apologies. My husband's like, I know that feeling. She doesn't ever shut up.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

In 107 episodes, we finally have a professional podcaster with us.

[Randy Florence, Host]

We actually, you know, this is, when I first got into- I first started working in banking, and one of my first customers was an old math teacher from high school. And I did not want that because I shouldn't have gotten into banking because I didn't know anything about math, but I was really afraid he was going to know.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And now I'm sitting here with- But you had a lot of interest in it?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

My gosh, I love the math pun.

[Randy Florence, Host]

How much editing can we do on this? We're now talking to somebody who actually does this for a living, and has done a lot of this kind of stuff for a living.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Please do not raise the bar for me. Let's just keep it low. Let's do the bare minimum.

Let's get a little tipsy. Let's just do this together.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, we're working on that. Randy doesn't drink anymore. Oh, good.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Congrats.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I don't drink any less. It's a much better life. It has been, yeah.

I have a little harder time with Patrick now than I used to. But we're still- So, Nikki- I only drink to make other people more interesting.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

100%.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Let me get through this.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Nikki Boyer, three-time Emmy winner. I know, right? Am I correct?

Yeah, you are. You take a bath every day.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

How do you know that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Okay, that's a weird fact.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

And why did I tell anybody that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

That's weird. Is that right?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I do. I do.

[Randy Florence, Host]

She is an actress, singer, songwriter, executive producer, TV host, has kissed Harry Styles. Oh, yeah. Photobombed by Beyonce.

Oh, my gosh. And was born in St. Louis.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

That's my favorite- Is that all right? That is my favorite introduction of any podcast I've ever been on.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Thank you. We're done. Bye, everybody.

Thank you. All right. Because it's literally not going to get any better than that.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, why do you know I take a bath every day? Did I say that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

It was just a hope.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I think I kind of said- What a 50-50 shot.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Now, I'm done.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Thank you very much.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

That's our show today. Oh, my gosh. Your wife is sitting right over there.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I love your wife.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

She's pretty cool.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I love your wife, by the way. Okay.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

All right, well, let's just start there. Why bath, not shower?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Okay. It doesn't mean I don't shower, though. I want to be clear, right?

Like, I bathe and then I rinse off, right? Because that's gross. You just sit in your own.

But I love- You sit in your own dirty water. Exactly.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

That's gross. That's why Dad always said it about baths.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Right? I love soaking in a tub. I don't know why I find it relaxing.

It resets my body.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Bubble bath. Is it bubbles, candles? You go for the whole thing?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I used to do the whole thing. But now it's just like, get in, get in, get in. Get this stuff done.

Sometimes some bath salts. I don't make it super fancy. But we just redid- This is really riveting.

It's not. We redid our bathroom and they were like, no, you need to put in one of those gorgeous glass showers. And I was like, I want a bathtub.

He's like, they're so outdated. Nobody has bathtubs. I'm like, this old lady needs a bathtub.

So put the bathtub in and call it a day.

[Randy Florence, Host]

But I mean, my- Did you get a special one?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Not just the standard. Does it have the claw feet? Those are the cool bathtubs.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I love those bathtubs. No, this is, it's got the slanted back and it's big enough for me to extend my legs. I'm only 5'2", so it's not really that big.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

So it's a regular bathtub.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my God, I love you guys. This is my favorite show ever.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

They told her it was special. So you'll be able to stretch out in this one, man.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, they're like, oh gosh. She's all whopping four inches of her legs.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

All of the cast of The Wizard of Oz also bathed in this very tub. Right now that we've got the awkward part of the podcast, I want to talk to you about the singer-songwriter part.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, I'd love that.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Randy's dying to talk about the dying for sex part.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Okay.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Which just says something about our person.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He brought up beds. I brought up what? You brought up beds first.

I did. Where did you, actually, I want to know, where did you, where did you glean that bit of info?

[Randy Florence, Host]

I have a coffee table book of famous people in a bath. And there she is. That actually sounds kind of fun.

You're page 62.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

And I'm in it? I'm famous enough to be in a coffee table book?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Remember when Kramer made a coffee table book that looked like a coffee table?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yes. This is a bathtub book that looks like a bathtub.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Nikki, I think there's something here.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And all the pages are laminated, so you can enjoy it while you're in the bath.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

You guys, let's, this is where stuff happens.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

This is how you came up with this podcast idea.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

You were here.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

We have lost money on every podcast, but now the bathtub book. The bathtub book.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my gosh.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I like it. All right, let's talk, I've got to go back to the singer-songwriter part. Okay, I love that.

So you moved to LA like in the late 90s.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my gosh, yes, right out of college.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Right out of college. So you're a kid and you come to the Bright Lights Big City.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And, but your desire was to continue like the singing-songwriting part, right? Like that was what was driving you?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, what was driving me was to do acting, actually. I really wanted to do acting.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And you did a lot of it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I did, I did. I was lucky I got to do some acting and hosting because when I worked in St., when I lived in St. Louis as a kid, I was actually the cartoon girl. So like I was the host of the kids cartoon hour.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Which TV station?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

KPLR TV. So it was the home of the Cardinals at the time.

[Randy Florence, Host]

That was something that you had grown up watching?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, Channel 11. Isn't that cool?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Do you remember a TV person there, a news person, Melanie Moon?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Absolutely, yes.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Melanie and I worked together in Roanoke, Virginia.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

No way.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Oh yeah, absolutely.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

She's adorable.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

She's wonderful. We love her.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Six degrees of separation, right?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

It's more like two. And Melanie has a twin sister.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Melissa. And they're both in broadcasting. And it was hilarious because Melanie, we would get packages on the feed, sometimes from her sister who was working in Little Rock.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

It's very confusing for the viewers.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

She would toss to her twin sister.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, that is the best thing I've ever heard.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

But it was hilarious. And then we would always come out of that and I'd always be like, you know, your sister is really, really, she's more attractive than you. Mel is always mad because they're twins.

And she's like, no, we're identical. I'm like, nah, not quite. I love that.

That's hilarious that you know Melanie.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I came out here. First thing I did was get a waiting tables job, right? Into LA.

Yeah, exactly. That's how I met all the casting directors, was waiting on them for lunch. And where were you waiting tables?

Houston's restaurant. Do you remember that chain? I waited tables there.

It was amazing. Met some of my dearest friends there. And then eventually, this is how the singer songwriter thing happened.

I was living on someone's couch, which is a very LA thing to do. She said to me, do you want to come into the office today where she worked and you can make some free copies of your resume and your headshot? And I was like, yes, anything that's free.

I went into her office. I made the copies of my headshots. And then behind me was a guy who said, hey, I heard you.

I heard you're a singer. And I said, oh yeah. And he goes, I'm a guitar player.

And that then forged the band that I was in for almost nine years.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You two got together and started a band.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

We started a band. Spirit Theory. Spirit Theory, yes.

And that's actually how I ended up meeting my husband, Tommy, who was in a different band.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He looks like a rock and roller. He's got that look to him.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, he is. He does music composing now for Hallmark films and movies and TV shows. Oh, really?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, he's great. Does he compose music for any of Ron Oliver's films? Ron Oliver directs and writes Hallmark movies.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, Ron Oliver?

[Randy Florence, Host]

And he lives in the valley here too.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Shut up.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yeah. No, I have to ask him. You have to ask him.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Christmas at the plaza. Yeah, that's what he's doing. Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Oh, that's Ron Oliver's movie. Now it's zero degrees of separation. Ron, of course, a guest on our podcast, Once Upon a Time.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, I love that.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Nothing's ever come together as well as this podcast has.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And it all started by you talking about her bathing habits.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You're all welcome.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

At least I'm clean.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You're welcome. Well, we're going to get into the rest of it here in a little while.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, that's true. So yes, that's how I ended up getting into a band and getting into acting.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And you met your husband that way.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

And that's how I met my most favorite person in the world.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And do you guys still have your band?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

We had a band called The Cardboard Cutouts. And we did some music. And so, I mean, I technically, I think we're a band now for the rest of our lives because we're married.

But we'll do occasionally, we'll write a song for a Hallmark movie or I'll do vocals for something he's working on because I'm really cheap. He'll be like, hey, I could go hire a singer or my wife can do it for free. And I was like, well, that works.

Yeah. So yeah, so that's what we did. And we lived here now full-time down in La Quinta.

Really?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, we're full-time here now. When did you decide to abandon LA and come to La Quinta?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

It was kind of right after COVID. And we were like, let's go down there and just check it out. And then we fell in love.

And then we bought a house because buying a house in LA, you have to like, I don't know, hit the lottery. And down here, we're like, oh, we should actually afford something. And then we started coming more and more.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Don't let other people know that.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, yeah. So, I mean, you have to be rich.

[Randy Florence, Host]

We bought ours with green stamps.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, exactly.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You have no idea how long it took to lick those.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Ew.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Randy.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I agree. Remember when you said the licks were bad? Wasn't that horrible?

So now I'm here all the time. I love being down here in the desert. And it's actually, we both work from home.

We're very creative. It's a great space to record music and do creative work because it's so quiet and peaceful down here. So yeah, you're right.

I probably shouldn't tell anybody about how nice it is.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Stay away. Don't come here. It's really expensive.

It's loud.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

There are kids everywhere.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Do you get to spend time around Old Town and the La Quinta?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, I love it there. That's where I go. We go to the farmer's market on Sunday.

We go to the restaurants. We go out to dinner at 4.30 PM. You know, we live it up.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Wells Marvin, our previous guest, would really love hearing about it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, from the Sandbar?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yes.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Well, he owns the Sandbar and Old Town. Wait, what? He developed it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

One person owns that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

That's correct.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

How do we get to meet him?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Okay, you should have been here about four weeks ago when he was on our podcast. We're going to have to start calling you and telling you whoever's coming on. Yeah, and I'll just show up and be weird.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

And I'll be like, hi.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I think she would be a good source for other guests. She might want to...

[Randy Florence, Host]

Danny Bonaducci hasn't gotten us anybody. Not one. That guy.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I'm going to get you some guests. You're not even going to know what happened because this is going to change.

[Randy Florence, Host]

We pretty much never know what's going on.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, we really don't. Yeah, Wells was a guest of ours. That's amazing.

He talked about how he'd been in development and turned what is now your favorite playground, the beautiful Old Town La Quinta into what it is.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

When we first moved here three years ago, it was summer and it was dead. And Tommy and I, my husband, drove through and we said, is this real? Is it or is it a movie set?

It was so quiet and dead. But now it is bumping, restaurants everywhere. I love living down here.

And now you're stuck with me because we're neighbors. So we're going to be friends now in real life.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Patrick won't drive that far.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, where are you?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I live in a beautiful, scenic downtown cathedral city. Oh, yeah. Actually, we're not in downtown.

We're in the suburbs.

[Randy Florence, Host]

By the way, your air quality two days ago was 352. You're a meteorologist.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I thought you'd want to know that. I wasn't looking at it at the time because I was in the middle of my bath. I didn't know.

I didn't know what the air quality was. He's taking a bath.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Nobody's doubting it. All right, let's get started here. Have we not started?

Oh, are we going?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Are we live? Is this thing on?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Should we start over?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

We should start over.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

That would be a waste of tape.

That would be a waste of... All right, so Molly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes. Oh, my favorite person to talk about.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And I love Molly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Do you?

[Randy Florence, Host]

And thank you for sharing Molly with us so I could fall in love with her.

And I also have to tell you, this has been really fascinating as somebody who's beat cancer a couple of times before and has had to deal with some issues that aren't normally talked about. It was fascinating to me to listen to this being talked about. So first of all, thank you for that.

So Molly was the subject of Dying for Sex, your podcast.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

The podcast.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And now ultimately the FX Hulu show Dying for Sex starring Michelle Williams. How did you meet Molly?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

We met in acting class right when I moved to Los Angeles in my very early 20s on Melrose. And we were in the same class and she and I were very different. I thought she was intriguing and pretty and she thought I was annoying and needy.

Right? Because I was like jumping around the room and being like, Hi, everyone. It's so nice to meet you.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And she was like... She didn't like that.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

She was like, Relax.

[Randy Florence, Host]

What are you doing? But you said she kind of carried herself differently just the way she walked in.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, she just kind of... I called her an alien model because she was like so beautiful. At the time, she had long, long brown hair and these crystal blue eyes and just a really interesting face.

And I just thought, God, she's gorgeous. And then we were paired up for a scene together where you have to do a scene study. And I haven't thought of this since just recently is that that acting teacher kind of changed the trajectory of my life because if she wouldn't have paired the two of us up together, I don't know if our friendship would have formed the way that it did because we spent a lot of time working on that scene.

And that's when we actually became really good friends. And I just fell in love with her. She was such a quirky, interesting, thoughtful, very, very smart person and just loved spending time with me.

So if I said, Hey, I'm going to go on an audition and I'm going to go to the grocery store, she'd be like, Great, pick me up. I'll come with you. So we just spent a lot of time being together, doing really mundane things.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And had she been diagnosed at that point?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

cancer in her future. But in: 2011

So it was pretty long after she was misdiagnosed. She went into our shared OBGYN. We had the same OBGYN.

Don't all girls? Oh, that's weird. It's so weird.

But he misdiagnosed her and said he didn't think the lump was anything. And she just sort of had that trust in him. And she was only 30 at the time.

And he told her she was too young, told her she was too young. And so I think she thought, Oh, I'm overreacting. And I think that's one of the things I try to express when I'm doing interviews is always get your mammogram, get your second opinions.

Please advocate for your body.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And so, yeah, I wish people who don't know, give us, tell us a little bit about Molly, her story.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, tell the story. I mean, I don't know if the story is told on your podcast and in the show, but give us the I would love to.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

So dying for sex was inspired because Molly, when she got her second diagnosis, which ended up being metastatic and no cure, right? Stage four breast cancer. She kind of had a moment where she was reassessing her life.

And she decided to do something really bold and brave, which was leave her marriage of 14 or 15 years and go on a sexual journey for herself, like a real sex quest of just like getting out there, getting into her body, having sex, the sex that she always wanted to have before she got married and didn't get the chance to have. And in the process of doing that, I feel like she healed some old wounds. She got to really understand what she enjoyed in terms of pleasure and sex.

And she got to really kind of deeply start to understand herself. And I do think she was ultimately looking for love, right? Like a deep love.

And I think she found it because by the end of her life, she had really fallen in love with herself deeply and gotten to figure some really beautiful things out about her life. And we did it together because we recorded a podcast. And I was with her when she spent three months in the hospital.

And we were together.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You recorded an episode from the hospital.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

We recorded and stayed creative together. And she actually also wrote her book from her hospital bed. So I think she's just a really beautiful example of, like, what do you want to do with the time that you have left, right?

That question always rings in my mind. So yeah, that's Molly's story. We did the podcast.

And then it became a beautiful television show that just came out in April. And so yeah, here I am talking about her because I just love her.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Well, that's one of the things you've talked about is that you want to continue sharing her story.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And the fact that that story is being shared is awfully important to an awful lot of people, too. Thank you. So was there any point when you started that?

There were a few times during the interview where I could hear you were just shocked at the answer.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, yeah, because she was sort of getting into the kinks and fetishes, which...

[Randy Florence, Host]

Well, the massage story early on.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

The happy ending, yeah. Which I was like, go. Good for you.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Right?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Congrats.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

We can tell these stories. I feel like... Go ahead.

Tell the massage story. Tell me the massage story.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, Molly was sick at the time and wasn't feeling good. And one of her other friends bought her a gift certificate to get a massage. And the gentleman came over.

And the one thing led to another. And before she knew it, she was fully getting massaged. And, you know...

All parts. How do we say this? Above and below.

It was a full body massage. Full body massage. Thank you.

[Speaker 4]

Thank you.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Full body. And she realized in that moment that, yes, there was something healing about sex for her. And to be...

I mean, this is a little heavy, but I'm going to say it because I think it's really valuable. She had some trauma as a little girl, which she's very open about in the podcast, as well as in the TV show. And she said when that happened to her, she kind of split.

Right? And she didn't let...

[Randy Florence, Host]

She was abused.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

At the age of seven by her. Oh my gosh. Yeah.

And I think at that moment, she kind of split off into two different versions of herself and didn't know how to merge her sexual self with herself. And so now when she got this diagnosis, I think that was a real important time for her to do that, to lean into that. And she had so many crazy fun experiences.

I'd pick her up at like 11, right? 11 a.m. And she'd be like, well, I had two dates. And I'm like, who dates before 11?

She's like, well, you know, I did some stuff in the parking lot of the Dunkin' Donuts. And I was like, what? What?

Was he cute? And she's like, he was hot. And I was like, well, tell me more.

And then I had a moment where I said, I think there's a story here and I think it's called dying for sex. And she was like, oh, let's do it. And I was like, I don't know what this means, but I think we should start documenting this because I think it's really, really powerful.

Because men, no offense, guys, but you guys get to do sexual things and people look at you and go, oh, look at you. Like, good for you. But when women do it, they're called a slut or that's, you shouldn't do that.

But Molly was like, screw that. I'm not, I'm going to, I'm doing what I want to do. And I don't care what anybody else.

[Randy Florence, Host]

When you're dying, the opinions don't matter.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly. Yeah. Reckless abandonment, but taking care of herself at the same time.

Yeah, I think when you, at one point I said, like, you better be careful. Like, nobody does anything to you or nobody hurts you. And she goes, what are they going to do, kill me?

I'm dying. That's how Molly was.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Here's this part of the story that I loved. I thought it was the happy ending part that you loved. When you asked her if she tipped the guy.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, after the massage, she was like, well, he packed up and he left and it was great. You know, I kind of felt pleasure and it ignited this whole thing for me. And I was like, well, did you give him a tip?

And she was like, no. And I was like, just, I was appalled. I was like, that's two and a half hours.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's, that's what I wanted to know.

Like, that was what I was interested in.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

But I agree with you.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

She never worked in the service industry. She doesn't know.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

For quality service. That was my last massage.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my gosh. No, she did not tip the guy.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And I was mad. So, we're, as this was all unraveling and you were having these conversations. How was Nikki about sexuality?

Were you open with these conversations? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I mean, I had judgment. Of course, every good friend has to be like, what did you do? Why would you do that?

Beautiful thing about Molly and I, you know, looking back, I have so much respect for her is that she never looked at anybody's kinks or fetishes or ideas of what they enjoyed sexually with any shame or judgment. On the other hand, I had enough for both of us. Because I would go, wait, why?

Or, ooh. And she'd say, you know, you can't do that with people. Like, you really have to just kind of meet them where they are.

And if you enjoy what they enjoy, great. But if you don't, you cannot. You can't judge it.

It's just not a good thing to do.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

What was one of the things that you're just like, well, wait a minute.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Can I say them?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Oh, yes, you can.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I'm just making sure.

[Randy Florence, Host]

We're governed by the same place that your podcast is. Yeah, if you can say it in your podcast, you can say it in ours.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, well, it's in the show and it's in the podcast. But there's part of it that's not shown. But I'll tell you that part.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Okay.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

There was a guy that really enjoyed.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

This is my favorite podcast so far, by the way. I knew it would be.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

There was a guy that really enjoyed to be urinated on. Okay. Right?

Fine. Great. But what we didn't show in the podcast was that he requested.

This is so gross. He requested to drink the urine as well. So he would say and she would say, I'm not into that.

I don't want to engage in that. But he'd say, can you just leave it outside your doorstep and I'll come and pick it up.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And this guy was like Hollywood handsome, right?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Very cute. Your face is exactly how I was feeling.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, look.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Are you enjoying that warm beer?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Now I really would prefer a different drink choice at this point. Uh, no, like, actually, like, none of that totally shocked me until you got to the part where he wanted it left outside. I mean, like.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Right. Then it goes.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Because you're like, that never leaves my house. That's the way you feel.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, I do think, though, that that is a good. I mean, I think the beer is a good analogy. Like, it should be right out of the tap or why bother?

[Randy Florence, Host]

There's a head joke in there, but I can't figure it out.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Out of the tap. Is it part of the kink?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I thought so, but apparently not for that guy. And then there was another guy that wanted to be like. I really need a gin and tonic.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, you do. I need something clear.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Do you want me to get the bartender? Nothing warm and yellow, please. I know.

I know. I know.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

My dad used to have a joke. You get a beer that was a weird color. I'm sorry, sir, but your horse has diabetes.

And now I feel like I can't drink this.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Ruined your whole day.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

But about a third of my beer. That was a good story. That was a good story.

So now that while we're going down this rabbit hole, what were some of the other ones that were just kind of showstoppers for you? Were there things that you just couldn't put in the show?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes, there were a couple. I don't even think I can say them out loud, but I can tell you one that I can say out loud. There was a guy that she was dating that was a clown.

And I mean, the TV show.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

About this point, Harpo's going to walk in, you know.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, my God, the clown from down here in the desert?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Harpo, yes.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

You understand that, like, at first I was slightly terrified because I didn't know that it was like a fun loving. I thought it was like some guy like this.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, no, he's a, by all accounts, a nice guy.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I don't want to get you off track here. But when I first moved to town, I worked in a bank. And the first day he walks into the bank.

And I thought, that's it, I'm dead. That's it, I'm dead.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

That's what I thought when I saw him driving.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Clown is killing me in the bank.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, exactly. That's what I thought when I saw him driving next to me. And then I realized, oh, he's, this is not like, you know, a serial killer.

This is like a human being that brings joy to people. So we love him.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, we don't know if he's a human being. He could also be a killer. We actually are going to have him as a guest.

We're going to. Shut up. He's not going to talk to us.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, I got excited.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He will type to you. He has a Facebook page. Yeah.

And he wrote a book.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, what?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He's not non-communicative. He's just, he won't talk to you. But he communicates in other ways.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Got it.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Okay. Yeah, he's nuts. It's not, he's trying to be a clown.

He just doesn't like people.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Right, no blame.

[Randy Florence, Host]

So he doesn't want to talk to anybody. That's right.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

The least appealing job, if you don't like people, is a clown.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Right. So back to your story. She was dating a clown who essentially was not Harpo.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

No, it was not Harpo.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

As far as we know.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

He was more of a steampunk clown, which I didn't know existed. But like that vibe, right? But he also happened to be a mortician.

And so I think by day, clown, by night, mortician. So she went to the mortuary. I think that's where they do it.

[Speaker 4]

That's where they, yes.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

And they had lots of conversations. And I think they hooked up a little bit, right? They did their fun stuff.

[Randy Florence, Host]

In the mortuary.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You have a problem?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you dying to do that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Sorry, I was coughing there.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

So the next day, I show up at her front door. And she was actually, at this point, not feeling well at all. The chemo had kicked in.

She had lost her sort of energy. And she comes to the front door. And she's exhausted and tired.

And I'm bringing her soup. And she's in a cute little nightgown. She turns to the right, and I see clown makeup just smeared on the side of her face.

And I said, well, was he dressed up at work? And she's like, no, but he met me there to show me some things. And he had just gotten off his clown duty.

So there was a merge of clown, mortuary, sex. So yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

She had sex with a clown in the mortuary, is what you're saying. I just want to be clear.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Doesn't it sound kind of hot?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, no, no. That is not on my list.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Have I officially made you uncomfortable on your own show?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I'll be honest. I'm not uncomfortable with that at all. I just want to.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I got pictures.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

It's like Colonel Mustard in the library with the candle stick.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Harpo the clown in the mortuary with Molly.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

We are really breaking new ground on this episode of Big Cameras.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

But you know what I love about Molly is that she always met people where they were and never shamed them for their things. Because a lot of times what you enjoy in terms of fetishes and kinks can come from a place of trauma or things that you had gone through. And you're trying to heal wounds.

And you're trying to fix things within your body and your mind. And she was willing to kind of just experiment and meet people where they were and no judgment. And I just really love that about her.

She was really brave in that way.

[Randy Florence, Host]

So on the podcast, I hear your moments of incredulousness. And some of the things you're like, oh my God, I can't believe that happened. But what I don't remember hearing in the podcast at any point were times where you said, oh my God, Molly, are you sure you want to do that?

Or was there ever any time where you were fearful for her on something she might be going through? Or were you just giving her the space to live her own life?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I think there were moments where I thought things that she was doing. I was like, wait, why? What?

But overall, the overarching goal that she had, I never had any feelings like that. I don't know why. I think when someone tells you that they're dying, you immediately go, okay, let's figure, how do you want to live the rest of your life?

And when someone comes to you and tells you how they want to do it and what they want to do, knowing that that ticking clock is right there, it's really easy to be supportive.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

It's unconditional love. It takes away a lot of the protocols that we live by.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes, exactly.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Because it seems sort of useless at that point.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly. And I also knew, I do want to say this, we joke and we laugh and we have fun with Molly's stories. But throughout all of it, she was digging deep, learning things about herself, going to therapy.

She was really doing work on herself also while sexually exploring. So she just wasn't trying to eff her way through life. She was really trying to figure some things out for herself.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, it had a purpose, clearly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I mean, yeah, thanks.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Very, very cool stuff. Interesting. We're going to take a quick break.

We want to thank our presenting sponsor, the McCallum Theatre. And we hope that maybe they've missed a portion of this one. But we'll be right back. And we're back. Again, our thanks to the McCallum Theatre. Presenting sponsor, go to mccallumtheatre.org. And we are here with Nikki Boyer, who's telling just incredible stories about her podcast and now FX show, Dying for Sex.

So talk about, I'm going to reel it back in just a little bit.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Please do. Somebody has to.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, I know Randy's still contemplating the, what container do you put the urine in when you set it outside? Tupperware.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Tupperware.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, because I have to put leftovers in that. I'm not putting it in Tupperware. Thank you very much.

Oh my God.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Now the visuals are, I'm like right there.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, you got to start thinking about it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, I'm like, oh, that's all.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Sometimes you have those jars left over from stuff that, that's what you, that's brilliant.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yeah, the pickle jar. She's starting a new podcast called Two Creepy Guys in a Bar.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, no, no.

[Randy Florence, Host]

One. One creepy guy in a bar.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I do, I do want to point out that I was not the one who knew that she only took baths. Like you knew that right off the bat.

[Randy Florence, Host]

That was the first, actually the first note I had. Oh my God, it was.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Why did I put that up there? Sometimes I just need to stop talking. That's the problem is I just talk.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, we just normally, we have to wonder where that did come. No, I want to talk about, you know, you had this very successful podcast. Translate that into the TV show, the kind of the business side of that, because you're the executive producer of the TV show.

And I mean, what a cool opportunity.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Come on, right?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, I have to say one of my favorite stories of how the podcast came to be and then how the TV show came to be was that I, Molly was really sick and we had had all these recordings of her sort of fun sexual escapades and she was in the hospital and I thought, gosh, I want these to be released to the world before she passes away. Right. So I was going to release them on my YouTube channel.

And then I thought, you know, I know this guy that I met years ago from Wondery, which is the company where we did the podcast. And I reached out to him and I sent him the episodes and I said, my friend and I are working on this, but thought you'd be interested. And I never heard back.

And so, uh, yeah, right. Great. How dare he?

Great lesson.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Damn clown.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Always. Always follow up. So I was about ready to release the episodes on YouTube and Molly was in the hospital and not doing well.

And I reached out to Hernan Lopez, who was the CEO of Wondery at the time. And I just said, hey, following up, I'm going to release this. If I don't hear back from you.

Great. But I just want to let you know. And he said, do not release it.

Come into my office. And I went into his office and we had a long conversation about Molly. And he said, I want to meet her.

And he showed up at the hospital and he met her and sat next to her while she was in her hospital bed and said, I'm going to help tell your story. So just know it's in good hands. And that's how the podcast came about.

So that was very serendipitous and spiritual. And then when the podcast was released, immediately there was interest from television that said, this is a really powerful story about women, about friendship, female friendship, love between two women. That's just so deep.

And we think there's something really magical here. So I was lucky enough to be along for that ride.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Were there any that were like, oh, wait a minute. Oh, that's the topic.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

They're like, exactly. They're like death and sex. First of all, how are we going to sell this?

Who's going to want to sign up for it? Those are two really taboo topics. I mean, sex is fun.

But when it's attached to death, it can be a lot.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And it gets less fun.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait, death or sex?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

So yes, I would think conversely.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

No, you're right. There's a lot more fun.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I didn't put that to you. Thank you.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

So you can roll that into it then.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Right. But we didn't know how it would be received. And people really, really loved it.

It cracked people open. It caused people to sort of hold up the mirror to their own lives and look at things. I mean, I don't know if you openly talk about what it was like to have cancer, what it was like to have your health sort of like the rug ripped out from under you.

It shifts things for you. Did it shift how you look at the world?

[Randy Florence, Host]

100 percent, including physical things that were impacted by that. Yeah, definitely. That's one of the reasons.

I mean, this would be the most enjoyable podcast I've ever listened to anyway, just because of the relationship between you and Molly. But the other things that have come out of that. You know, listen, I've been married 44 years.

So this has actually caused my wife and I to ask some questions.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Has Kay asked you to dress up like a clown?

[Randy Florence, Host]

She threw all the Tupperware away like immediately. No, I love that. Just questions about would you have liked that?

You know, it's never going to happen now. But would you have liked that sometime in the past?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Right. But I think it causes people to just step outside of the comfort zone. I love uncomfortable conversations, talking about things that are kind of taboo.

I love talking about that. I think that actually creates connection and closeness when you can get through that uncomfortable moment. And then you're like, oh my God, we're talking about this.

I find that to be really freeing. And Molly did that all the time. So she encouraged me to do that with her story.

And the ripple effect has been just cracking people open. And people are just so happy to be receiving this story, which I didn't know how it was going to land when it first came out. And I'm blown away by how it feels.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Did you have... Michelle Williams is the star of the show. How unbelievable is she?

Did you have any say in who played you?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

You know, they asked me my thoughts and they would send over. It was very fun to be in this position where they send you over, like an acting reel of a very famous person. And you're like, oh, let me just observe their years of work in a four-minute reel and give my opinion.

[Speaker 4]

Thumb up or thumb down.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly, exactly. But I mean, there were lots of names tossed around. But when Michelle Williams signed up to play Molly, it had to be the right Nikki that paired up with Michelle.

And when they called me over, it was over Christmas break, and said, Jenny Slate. And I thought, oh, my God. And you knew who she was.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yes, yes.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

She's incredible. Isn't she great? And I think she's a stand-up comedian.

She's very funny. She does a ton of improv. But her sweet spot is she's really good at drama.

And I think she got to play a role that I think she was really ready for.

[Randy Florence, Host]

So how much of her is like you? Were you the kind that would all of a sudden just start yelling at somebody because you didn't think Molly was getting her respect or that the doctor was doing the right thing?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

What? But you said it. No, you didn't hear that question.

I didn't want you to hear that.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I'm sorry. So it was nothing like your real personality.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

The part that wasn't like me was like the disorganized, the big giant bag of shit she couldn't like. That was crazy. That was fun.

But that would have been me like 15 years ago when I was just a little chaotic. But my husband always says, have you seen your desktop of your computer? It literally looks like a giant bag filled with nothing's labeled right.

So there are parts of me that are like that character very much. But like to stick up for your friends and when someone's doing something wrong to somebody, I am the first to stand up and start like telling people off, which is not a great quality, but I'm very fiercely loyal. Where did that come from?

That's a good question. That's deep. My childhood.

Yeah. Just sticking up for everybody.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Were you forced to have to stand up for yourself?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Which parent?

[Randy Florence, Host]

Let's drill down.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Come on.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my God. I will send you a bill for my therapy. Or you should send me the bill actually.

Yeah, you should send me the bill. Wait a minute.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Hold on.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Wait a second. That's not how it is.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

That's a new model. I like that business model. Right?

So much better.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I think when I was young and I was in grade school, I always felt the need to stick up for the kids that didn't know where they fit in. And I don't know where that came from before that, but my first memory was always feeling like the bullies, I couldn't stand a bully. And so I would then stick up for the kids that didn't know where to sit at lunch or that didn't fit in.

And I just feel like I've always been doing that my whole life. So my threshold for bullshit is really small. So when somebody starts to be disrespectful to a waiter or be mean in a parking lot, like I will open a door and I've gotten in trouble too.

And I've almost been injured along the way a few times, but I can't stand seeing injustice.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

You're getting into fist fights with people?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Well, not fist fights, but like I think people like you never... Well, maybe. All right.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

All right. Fine. I got into a fist fight. All right. Yes.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

All right. Good. It's good to get to the real story.

It's what therapy is all about.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

You got to be honest. If you're not honest with me, I can't help you.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You said before the podcast that your spirituality was way above average. In an interview, you said this. And now it's through the roof.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Describe what that means.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I love that you guys have good questions. Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He's the entire research department. He's very good at it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I was raised Catholic and I went to an all girls Catholic high school. I was a very Catholic kid. I learned my love of music being Catholic.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Well, you just explained everything.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, exactly, right? But I don't consider myself religious really at all anymore. But I am very tuned into just the serendipity of the world and spiritualness and connectedness.

And there's a reason we're all kind of going through things together. And, you know, you cross paths with people and you're like, gosh, one slight move and we wouldn't have, you know.

[Randy Florence, Host]

There was no way you weren't going to meet Molly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Isn't that wild?

[Randy Florence, Host]

I know.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I know. But yeah, something was going to intersect. So I think when I had that experience when Molly passed away, it got rid of any doubt that I had of some sort of communication after passing because I was laying next to her bed and my hand was on her leg and her hands were nowhere near mine and she was completely sedated.

And I fell asleep and I felt something tap under my fingers hard enough to wake me up out of a really deep sleep. And when I woke up, her mom was sleeping next to her and it was dark in the room. So I kind of like made my way up to her and I put my hand on her head and my other hand on her chest and I was right there and she took her last breath.

She woke me up. She woke me up to tell me or somebody did, something did that was outside of the human realm to wake me up to be there for that last breath. And I don't think, I mean, you could say it might've been intuition, but like something woke me up with a tap on my finger.

And so that makes me feel like it feels undeniable that there's something that's outside of us. So that makes me feel really in touch with my spirituality and I don't have to have it figured out. I don't fucking know, right?

Like I don't really know the answers, but I know that there's something and I feel a spiritual connection with just the other side. I don't know. Do I sound woo-woo?

Do I sound woo-woo?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

A little bit, a little bit.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

A little bit?

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, no, no. That is way, way more normal than talking about what container you would put urine in for someone to take it home. So this feels okay.

That actually raised the podcast. But I want to talk, you know, you chronicle, you don't just chronicle, you lived Molly's last days.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I mean, you get to tell her story. I mean, in essence, you are the keeper of the flame here and you've told it through the podcast, through the television show. But tell me a little bit about just, that has to be also, it's a great comfort, but it also has to be a great drain to have gone through every emotion with her and to be so close and to be so bonded and to lose someone like that.

So tell me a little bit about the roller coaster ride that is that as you continue to tell her story.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

It's been, it forces me, even though it's about her, it forces me to really get to know myself deeply, right? Like really deeply understanding grief, understanding self care. That's why I take a bath every day.

You know, we joke about it, but like really, always coming back to the bath. I've learned more through her death about life than I ever thought possible. And she would always make jokes and I was just telling your wife this before we sat down.

Kay was asking me some questions and I said, she would always make jokes like, I'm the most important person in your life. And I'd say, well, yeah, I mean, you're one of the most. I mean, yes, I love you, my husband.

No, no, no, I'm the most, like I'm your soulmate. And I'd be like, okay, right. You're my soulmate.

This little dramatic, but okay. And now here I am six years later. And my husband said to me not that long ago, he's like, she's your soulmate.

Her soul is working through you. You're sharing her story and you guys are so incredibly connected. So I've learned a lot about myself in this process and I am 100% drained, like so fucking drained, but like in the most beautiful way possible, like not drained, like I'm so tapped out.

I've just been so like plugged into life that I'm a little drained. So that's why I take a bath. That's why I get massages, not the happy ending kind.

Thank you very much. There's no judgment.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Never had one, never had one. At least not on that topic.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

But a bath and a massage and like self-care, like I really try to practice that and time with my husband is so valuable. Like it's really caused me to like get very clear about what I want my life to look like and what am I feeling my days, my final days, because we don't know how much time we have left. So she's really made me accountable and also unapologetic.

Like who gives an F what anybody else thinks? And I say stupid shit all the time and then people put on their show and I'm like, why did I say that?

[Randy Florence, Host]

But that keeps getting you on people's shows.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, you were actually on the bubble until we found out about the bath.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And I'm like, oh no, we should have her on. We had a guy from the McCallum who was going to be here. But we're like, no way.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And then we had a guy from a mortuary who was going to be here. That clown, that clown. But he couldn't make it.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

So yeah, I love that question though. It's very sweet because I, yeah, there is a part of me that feels tapped out, but also tapped into. Like I'm so grateful that I get to do this with my life for her life and it makes my life better.

It makes me better.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Is there ever a time where you have to walk away from Molly? Just to get away from it a little while? Or is it just all encompassing?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

No, I feel like she's kind of guiding me and giving me signs of like how to make my life better. No, it's weird. I don't feel that way with her.

Maybe, maybe I should take a look.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You know what I mean? In listening to the podcast, you can almost feel that she felt like she had that role a little bit with you.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You know, like what she was doing was not just for her.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

It was for you also. Well, because she said to me about a week before she died, she said, I've watched you work so hard in this business and try to get a project or get that next thing that can kind of get you out there as a storyteller. Because at the end of the day, I just want to tell stories, right?

And it's hard. This business is so hard and I'm going to be 50. So it's not like I'm like this 20 year old hot girls like out there like, hey, let me do it.

It's hard for me right now. And she said, I really hope that somehow my death and what we're doing together makes your life better. And it has changed my life immensely.

And I'm just so grateful to her. She's so cool. She's the coolest.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

What is the next story you're going to tell? Have you identified it?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes. Okay. So I started my own company called Dying for Media.

And I've had...

[Randy Florence, Host]

Congratulations.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Thank you. I don't even know what that means. I started my own company.

Oh, I made a name.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Well, I said congratulations. Like it should mean something. $800 a year to the franchise.

Exactly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my gosh, shut up. Congratulations. No, I actually have a really great business partner.

And we are pitching stories. So I love leaning into stories that are about real people that just feel unreal. I love giving a voice to people that have these...

I'm sure the two of you, if we sat down and I picked your brains and I picked apart your life, we'd probably find a compelling, amazing story in the two of you that could help other people. And I think everybody has a story. So right now I'm working with hospice nurse Julie.

She's famous on TikTok. She's kind of a badass. And she helps people die every day.

She's going into people's homes and helping them create a beautiful experience around death and getting people to talk about it in a really beautiful way. So we're working on a show together. And then also Molly's chaplain, which is so funny because Molly was Jewish and didn't practice religion at all.

But she found a female chaplain that she fell in love with at the hospital, who she just adored. And that chaplain helped give her the spiritual care that she needed to get before she died. And so chaplain Peggy and I did a podcast called Near Death.

There's 15 episodes of it. And she explains her road to being, you know what it's like being a chaplain in a hospital in Los Angeles. And it is riveting.

The stories that happen in a hospital are riveting. So yeah, that's what I'm doing now.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Do you feel like Molly, you said, you know, she had trauma at an early age and her diagnosis sort of put her on this quest.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Did she find the peace that she was looking for? Did she, was she able to kind of sew those to heal the split?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah, it's so funny you ask that because when she wrote her book, it's kind of a love letter to herself. And the title of the book is Screw Cancer, Becoming Whole. And I think she was really able to merge those two parts of herself while she was dying and forgive herself and forgive the people around her and really become whole and deeply fall in love with herself.

So I think she really did get what she intended.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Was there anything that she had wanted to do that she ran out of time on? Two clowns. Makeup on both sides of the face.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

That's it. Why didn't I think of that? You can use it.

She really wanted to travel, deeply wanted to travel. And every time she booked a trip, it would get cancelled or it would get, her health would get in the way or chemo or she'd get sick. And so many cancelled train tickets and plane tickets.

And when she's in the podcast and has actually made it to the TV show as well, when she died, she said, I said, are you afraid? And she said, yes, of course I'm afraid, but I finally get to go. I'm gonna cry.

I finally get to go on a trip where there's no consequences. And it's not gonna be cancelled. And it's just, it's a trip just for me.

And it's gonna be colorful and beautiful. And I can't wait to go. So I feel like in a way, she got the trip she had always desired.

I hope she did. Yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I read that you've been contacted by some of her dates.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yes.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Since the show came out. How's that gone?

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

How's that gone, right? The guy, the guy that was the first guy that she hooked up with, that, it's so dirty, but like had a premature situation out of the car. Like he accidentally got it too excited and didn't know what to do.

So he had to like just get out of the car and that made it to the TV show. He and I are really good friends. And I love that guy to death.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

He must love that you know that about him too.

[Randy Florence, Host]

That's why they're staying friends. I'm never letting her out of my sight. Exactly.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

He is one of my favorite humans. There were a couple other guys that...

[Patrick Evans, Host]

When you called him, he came right away, is what you said.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Two seconds. Oh my God. But I love that he was willing to be so vulnerable and share that story to help tell Molly's journey.

[Randy Florence, Host]

And it said it was me.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Oh my God. It's in the trailer. We did use it, yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

The coming attraction. My God, Patrick.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I don't know. It's gotten a hold of me.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I'm trying to think of more puns and they're not coming. Damn it. Some of them have reached out via Facebook or Instagram and said, I saw Molly's story.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

No, but no.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

But it's really interesting because I wished he would have. Like I almost wanted to send out a call to action so I could finally tip him.

[Randy Florence, Host]

There's 200 bucks.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Here's the 50 bucks she really owed you.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Exactly. Thank you. Some people have been reaching out via Instagram and saying like, hey, you don't know me, but I was one of Molly's guys and she was amazing.

This podcast is beautiful. So I think it's reaching some of the gentlemen that she was going back and forth with. And there were quite a few of them over the few years.

[Randy Florence, Host]

188 or something like that.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

How do you know? How do you know that number? You know everything.

You are like an encyclopedia.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I'm like the Rain Man of podcasts. She is. Wapner at four.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah. Right.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Oh my God. Besides the podcast and your ladybug tattoo.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Oh my God.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Right. Is there anything else? How do you know about the tent?

Well, you get enough pictures out of a bath.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I got a ladybug tattoo. Molly used to gift me everything ladybugs. And do you know that psychic named Teresa Caputo?

Yeah.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

She's here all the time.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Yeah.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I did a podcast with her. And at the end of the podcast, she goes, can I ask you a question? She goes, do ladybugs mean anything?

And this was before I publicly said anything about ladybugs. And so every time I see a ladybug, I always think of Molly. And I feel like it's her way of.

And then I put one permanently on my neck. So now she's always with me. But yeah, needless to say, I'm slightly obsessed with my best friend.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I imagine you are. It's fantastic.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Oh, wonderful. Thank you so much for coming and spending the time with us. I mean, I can't think of a more entertaining way to spend.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I knew it was going to be good.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You called it.

[Randy Florence, Host]

You guys, seriously, thank you.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Nikki Boyer. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

Our thanks to you for spending some time with us, for your husband, for letting you come in. Well, I think we've lost your husband.

[Randy Florence, Host]

We've lost him. He's over there now. It looks like you and I are going to be heading to dinner together, Nikki.

Thank you so much.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Can I just say, before we wrap up, you guys have asked the most thoughtful questions. And we've laughed the whole time, which were two of Molly's favorite things to do, be super heady and talk about really deep stuff and laugh our asses off. And that's what we've done.

And I'm wearing her ring right now.

[Randy Florence, Host]

This is her ring. I was looking at that.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

I didn't. I forgot it was hers. And I looked down and I went, so I feel like she's here with us.

So she would have loved you guys. She would have loved. So thank you for a great interview.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I appreciate you. And thank you for sharing her. Make sure that people will know she was unforgettable.

So job well done. Thanks. And we look forward to what's next.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Yeah. I'll come back. Whether you invite me or not.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

Every other week. You can be 108, 110, 112.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Wouldn't it be great if we did it and when she walks in, Harpo is sitting here? Oh, that would be fantastic.

[Nikki Boyer, Guest]

Dream big.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

And then we can do a remote at a mortuary. And then we'll bring the whole thing together.

[Randy Florence, Host]

I just want to do a remote so bad.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I know you do. I'm dying to do that one. Well, people are dying to get in that place. My thanks to John McMullen.

Of course, our guest, Nikki Boyer. And Mr. Randy Florence, a superb guest, sir. Thank you.

[Randy Florence, Host]

Outstanding. I'm good for a year now. It's up to you.

[Patrick Evans, Host]

I'm going to get Nikki's number so I can call her and say, give me some guests. Thank you, folks, for listening. This is another edition of Big Conversations Little Bar.

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